Men in Mind
Men’s mental health has been in the spotlight in recent years, fuelled by initiatives such as Movember, and here in Dorset there’s a growing number of judgement-free spaces - from dens and sheds to football stadiums - where men can connect with each other and talk about what’s on their mind. Laura K Williams finds out more…
Globally, one man is lost to suicide every minute of every day. It is the biggest killer of men under 50. While women face their own challenges, they are more likely to seek help for emotional distress and often have friends and family they turn to for support. Now, thanks to a range of groups, events and networks across Dorset, men too always have somewhere to turn.
We’ve lost far too many men, including many musicians such as Paul Cattermole from S Club 7, to suicide here in Dorset where there was the equivalent of one suicide a week last year - a record high for the county since the Office of National Statistics began gathering the data in 2001. In line with the national trend, three out of four suicides were by men. But what lies behind this worrying fact?
“Women are more likely to identify mental health and physical issues and seek treatment,” explains a spokesperson for Movember - the global movement to shine a spotlight on men’s health. “While men tend to isolate, soldier on, and are unaware of the resources available to them due to poor health literacy. Movember aims to challenge these stereotypes, to widen societal perceptions of what it means to be a man and to celebrate multiple interpretations of masculinity so that we can move towards a more open and supportive culture.”
For almost two decades, Movember has advocated for the early recognition of mental health issues and improved clinician responses to men in distress. By fostering better social connections and educating men and their supporters, Movember hopes to ensure that more men know how to act when mental health challenges arise.
Today, Dorset is home to a growing number of free groups - which you can self-refer to - that help support men with mental health and wellbeing and nurture a sense of brotherhood, connection and belonging. Here we speak to some of those initiatives to find out more (please do share this article with anyone who may need it).
Bridport Men’s Walking Group
The Harmony Centre is a Bridport-based charity supporting local people with mental health and wellbeing through a range of interventions. One of the Harmony Centre’s Peer Specialists, Rob, who has had ‘lived experience’, noticed how well he felt during his local dog walks surrounded by the nature of the area. He understood how beneficial it was for his own mental health and wellbeing and suggested that Harmony run a dedicated weekly Mens Walking Group, to support others. From this suggestion the Mens Walking Group quickly established as a popular and well supported weekly walk, inspiring other men to join. →
The group meets weekly from 2-4pm on a Tuesday at St Mary’s Playing Field in Bridport. They follow a route, stop for a cuppa and connect and chat. Rob says: “There is no fixed structure or obligation for anyone to talk or share but to just feel supported in a safe and open group of men that share a common love of nature.
“Men can often place a lot of pressure on themselves in society to meet the expected norms placed upon them and often have not been encouraged from a young age to be open with emotions. Historically men can sometimes feel that there is a stigma around mental health and can find it difficult asking for support or even just talking about any issues they are feeling. Creating spaces for men to connect, share their experiences, and build relationships is key to improving overall wellbeing.”
And it’s helping, with regular walkers now volunteering with the group they can cater for more people. Testimonials from members include: “I look forward to the weekly walk and it encourages me to get out of the house and get into nature to clear my head”, “I have not really been part of a group for a long time but feel very supported just to be me” and “I have enjoyed having a laugh and seeing others having a laugh - and us all getting to know each other with conversations becoming less intense and people being able to let off steam”.
Bridport Men's Wellness Club
Bridport Men's Wellness Group was started by Nick Hughes, who moved to the area seven years ago and struggled to find an evening group to join where he could connect with other like-minded men, so he finally set up his own earlier this year.
The group, which runs bi-weekly, meets every other Monday at the Bridport Youth & Community Centre and has 15 members with half a dozen regulars. “It's a pretty laid-back group,” explains Nick. “There's no pressure to talk or 'open up'. We don't have a talking stick! There is no set plan or agenda. The general chat is loosely based around things that come under the wellness umbrella, but as I always tell new guys, just being in a group is looking after your wellbeing. We try to keep the discussion positive and focus on how we can be better physically as well as mentally. I feel that we have created a safe space where men feel comfortable to talk about anything they want to.
“An average evening will consist of us sitting together and talking. We start by checking in with the group- a chance for each man to speak as much or as little as they like about what's been going on for them. This usually is the springboard for the start of a discussion and after that it can go in any direction!”
Issues discussed include addiction and loneliness, with some members quitting bad habits and picking up healthier habits as a result of group discussions and peer support. Social isolation is a common theme for older men, who do not have as much opportunity to form new friendships. “Making friends as an adult isn't easy,” says Nick “Many studies show that connection is a key factor to wellbeing, so the group’s first objective is to give the guys who come down a sense of community and belonging.”
Nick adds: “Life is hard and many of us are struggling. Maybe not all the time but we never know what is around the corner. The more we can come together and build communities the stronger and better society will be.”
Men in Mind
Dorset Mind has been at the forefront of supporting men with their mental health for decades. In 2022, through conversations about suicide prevention, the charity identified a gap in mental health provision for men in Dorset and launched Men in Mind.
They partnered with AFC Bournemouth, the town’s Premier League football team to create a safe space for men to get active and talk to other men. Since its launch last year, the group - which meets from 6-7.30pm on Tuesdays - has supported over 50 men and regularly hosts around eight men a week.
Facilitator Jon explains how the weekly sessions at the Vitality Stadium work: “First, we complete some form of physical activity which lasts around 45-50 minutes and is led by AFC Bournemouth Community Sport Trust coaches. We do a variety of exercises weekly, from classic exercises such as wall sits, squats and planks to sometimes other things like upper body work, dynamic stretching or core strength. On occasion we might get outside and play a little bit of walking football.
“When finished, the group heads back around to a room on the first floor of the stadium where hot drinks are available and we have half an hour or so to decompress and have a chat. We do not structure this section, preferring to give the group time to hang out and discuss whatever topics come up for them. It’s also an opportunity to get to know each other a little better! By doing this we provide a non-judgemental space where men come regularly to get some exercise and some company, despite whatever is going on in their lives.”
Men attending have reported the sessions helping them feel better about themselves and develop healthy habits. One attendee said: “I wanted to say a huge thanks for your support and I have really enjoyed the times I came along to the group. The fitness sessions spurred me on and I am now running regularly to try and feel better about myself. Your sessions are very friendly and welcoming and it helped me when I needed it.” Another service-user added: “This service is now a crucial part of my weekly routine and I come away every week feeling better in my mind and about myself.”
Men’s mental health support and resources:
Andy’s Man’s Club - national men’s suicide prevention charity, offering free-to-attend peer-to-peer support groups, including in Bournemouth, Weymouth and Portland - andysmanclub.co.uk
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) - the suicide prevention charity on a mission to help people end their misery, not their lives - thecalmzone.net
Dorset Mind - the county’s biggest mental health charity working with the NHS and partners to help improve people’s mental health - dorsetmind.uk
MANUP - men talking to men initiative dedicated to changing thoughts, opinions and minds about men and mental health - manup.how
Men’s Shed Association - Men’s Sheds are kitted out community spaces where men can enjoy practical hobbies, make friends and chat - everyone’s welcome - menssheds.org.uk
Movember - global charity behind the ‘movember’ facial fuzz campaign, changing the face of men’s health - uk.movember.com
Samaritans - UK’s leading mental health crisis helpline and charity creating valuable resources - samaritans.org
Talk Club - nationwide initiative with talking groups in Dorchester and Shaftesbury - actively help men to understand how they are feeling - talkclub.org
